pickled penis

You’re a really good friend. I’d just prefer you didn’t have a penis. You see, I have this…phobia…of oblong shapes that just kind of jut out at things. You know it’s just kind of out there.
I mean, you’re great, really (for a guy). If it makes you feel any better, you’re the most feminine guy I’ve ever met.
Oh, please don’t cry! I mean it’s not you. Don’t blame yourself. It’s just your body.
Well no, I wouldn’t say I’m afraid of zucchini. They aren’t threatening in the same way. They aren’t imposing. Penises impose.
I mean, I couldn’t zip up my vagina if I didn’t want anything, but you could just not bring it up. If you were really an egalitarian, wouldn’t you understand that? An apple does not equal an orange.
Oh, now you’re crying. Is it because I said you were feminine? I meant it as a compliment. I like feminine. You’re just not feminine enough.
Let me clarify, I like man personality…but the physical assets of a female are what I’m interested in.
I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.
Surgery! No, I don’t want you to get surgery! Well, if that’s what you want…but if they cut it off, what do they do with it afterwards? Do they keep them in jars?